A couple of clouded thoughts while contemplating a remarkably sunny winter's day. Wow, you would think there was an Olympics happening.

BUDGET CALCULATOR

The provincial government wants you to walk in finance minister Kevin Falcon's shoes.

Not actually lacing up his wingtips, of course, just an opportunity to experience the complex problems he and the government encounter when they play their annual budget shell game.

The government has a website (www.fin.gov.bc.ca/ mybcbudget/mybcbudget. html) where Joe Bagadonuts and everyone else can crunch the numbers for themselves with a budget simulator.

Want more cash for health care? Teachers? Then you'll have to take it from another line item. Too much money being spent on artsy-fartsy things or childcare? Cut it back and throw the extra bucks to help your corporate buddies.

Of course this planner is missing one critical step. That's where you take the resulting shortfall, add a zero to the number and simply write an IOU for future generations to pay for.

And if it's an election year, you double it.

Cynicism aside, this is actually a pretty useful exercise given the fact that apparently I have as much financial acumen as the decision makers in Victoria.

If a law background is required to serve in the roles of solicitor and attorney general (like there's a shortage of candidates with those credentials in any government caucus), why don't we have a similar standard of accounting certification to act as finance minister?

It couldn't be any worse than the current trend of financial administration by people who think as long as there are cheques in the cheque book, you can keep writing them regardless of the bank balance.

HOPPING DOWN THE BUNNY TRAIL

Delta is going to spend $60,000 to relocate Peter Cottontail and his buddies from the vicinity of the Municipal Hall to an island in Ladner Harbour Park. And when they arrive at their new island paradise, the lapin interlopers will have a nice souvenir of their journey in the form of a surgical scar where their genitals used to be located.

It's all an attempt to reduce the population of feral bunnies in the area, which has grown rapidly in recent years. It's almost like the creatures were breeding like rabbits.

Hate to break it to you folks but this is not going to end well. Yes, the bunnies will be moved and for roughly a month or so everything will be calm again.

Then - I'll peg it at roughly a month or so after Easter - all of a sudden there's going to be a spike in the Municipal Hall rabbit population as the little beasties brought home as a cute holiday surprise by misguided humans are kicked to the curb. These new arrivals will still have all their working parts and, rabbits being rabbits, the population will rapidly grow again.

Here's a tip - nature can do the job. Spend the 60k on nesting boxes for owls or to encourage nesting by hawks and eagles. The raptors have to eat so this is a solution that will keep fixing the problem no matter how fast Thumper and company pump out the offspring.

The number of unwanted critters will mysteriously wane and Delta residents will marvel as they watch the feathered bunny population control units soaring overhead while the resident rabbits make panicked dashes for cover.

Michael Booth can be reached at mbooth@thenownewspaper.com